National Bullying Prevention Month

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Bullying is no longer relegated to the playground or the neighborhood. It now regularly happens in the cyberworld. Kids don’t expect that and often don’t know how to handle it. This longish article will address cyberbullies–those who bully online rather than in person:

Who are cyberbullies?

Cyberbullies are too often everyday kids with no idea of the damage they’re doing. Their profile is as disturbingly common as it is unremarkable:

1. May be introverts, underdogs or underachievers.
2. May have low self-esteem.
3. Often feel like a victim themselves.
4. May not know how to express anger in an appropriate manner.
5. Would be unlikely to say to someone’s face what they say in cyberspace (especially if there’s a parent or teacher to witness it).
6. Use the Internet as a way to “get even” or vent their frustrations.
7. Often unwilling to take responsibility for their actions.

Almost 70% of cyberbullies also bully in real life. More general characteristics include:

• is easily angered
• is obsessed with explosives or weapons
• is obsessed with violent games, TV, or literature
• has parents who enable behavior by either inaction or encouragement
• has no remorse for his or her actions
• has tendencies to “not care about schoolwork” and has grades that are lower than they should be
• blames others
• has deep depression with extreme mood swings
• has high frustration levels and poor coping skills
• is often violent, both with words and acts, and is the instigator of physical fights
• often resorts to name-calling, makes violent threats, acts superior to others, and feels justified in his/her behavior
• abuses drugs, alcohol, and other substances
• has threatened to or attempted suicide
• has been suspended or expelled from school
• participates in gang activities
• is cruel to animals or destroys property
• is disrespectful to others, humiliates, and sets traps to embarrass
• glorifies violence and intimidates others
• has little or no support at home from caring adults
• peers are of the same tendencies or they isolate themselves
• has been personally abused or has witnessed abuse in the home

For children with these tendencies, what makes them select online bullying as their weapon of choice? Here are some reasons:

• anonymity
• don’t think they’ll get caught
• don’t have to face the consequences of their actions
• can’t be a bully in real world
• testing out a ‘bully’ persona
• an outlet for anger

How to prevent cyberbullying

• if you have a blog or website that accepts comments, require these be approved before posting. Yes, that adds extra work for you (reviewing each comment and then pushing ‘delete’ or ‘post’) but it will cut the negative harassing comments down quickly. If this is a class blog/forum/board and a comment sounds like bullying, talk to the student. Find out what’s going on and how you can help. Chances are s/he doesn’t realize this is inappropriate. Early intervention could make a big difference to the path s/he’ll take next.
• Prominently list the rules of your website, Discussion Board, blog, or forum. These will always include guidelines for showing respect to all stakeholders, following legal requirements, and encouraging a healthy and open sharing of ideas:
  • Pay attention to copyrights on any resources posted. Get permission before posting another person’s work or a picture.
  • Think before posting. Ask yourself: Would parents approve? Grandparents? Would you feel OK if the comment referred to you?
  • Only post what can be verified as true. If it sounds out there, add citations.
  • Never post anything personal about yourself or others.
  • Never post last names, even in a secure location provided by your school. Anything can be hacked with the proper motivation.
  • Treat people the way you’d like to be treated.
  • Spam/vandalism is an absolute no-no.
  • Harassment, insults, are not allowed. Keep discussion civil.
• Use a good filter program, one that prevents users from visiting questionable sites.

Strategies students can use to fight cyberbullies include:

• Leave the area (i.e. chat room, online game, instant messaging, social networking site).
• Block the sender’s messages.
• Don’t engage the harasser.
• Talk to an adult.
• Forward harassing messages to the Internet Service Provider. Most ISPs have Appropriate Use Policies that restrict users from harassing others.

The next step in addressing cyberbullies is knowing when to move from a passive bystander to a brave upstander. Bystanders contribute to the problem by doing nothing to show the bully that what they are doing is wrong:

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for enough good people to do nothing.” –Edmond Burke

How about these wise words from Dr. Martin Luther King:

“In the end, we will not remember the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.”

That’s where upstanders come in.

An upstander sees wrong and acts. They are a person who takes a stand against an act of injustice or intolerance.”

Research shows that others speaking out or taking action stops bullying behavior over half the time within seconds! As teachers, we must be upstanders. For students, it’s when they’re ready. Their action steps can include:

• Don’t let online epeople flame around you. If you can, tell them to stop. If that isn’t comfortable, get an adult to help.
• Keep evidence of cyberbullying. Take screenshots; save the links.
• Post or express words of support for the victim, like “I disagree…” Get your friends to do the same.
• Report what you are observing to the school or parents.
• Put yourself in the victim’s shoes.
• Tell the bully to stop.
• Don’t laugh or encourage the bully–and don’t participate.

Cyberbullying is often illegal

Finally, remind students that cyberbullying is against the law in many states and international locations. Because these are so varied, we will point out general guidelines but leave it up to you to research it for your location:

• Civil law: Under civil law, there are three approaches to cyberbullying: defamation of character, making an unsafe environment, and ignoring consequences that s/he should have reasonably guessed would happen.
• Criminal law: In criminal law, there are three approaches to cyberbullying: harassment, defamatory libel, and publishing intimate images without consent.

While these vary by nation, state, and town, know that communities are beginning to legislate strict consequences to cyberbullying that will save lives.

What should you do if you’re cyberbullied?

The rules that apply to real-world bullies apply to cyberbullies also. Do these sound familiar?

• Don’t engage the ebully.
• Cut off communications.
• Say “no” to revenge.

Here are great resources to start or continue your discussions. Be sure to preview them to see if they suit your children or student group. Some are pretty sad:

Click here for updates to the list:

1. Calling my Childhood Bully–a video (7 min.)
2. Cyberbully–90-minute movie
3. Cyberbullying–You’re not Alone — Hector’s World
4. Cyberbullying--geared for 5th grade and up; includes common questions students may ask and answers
5. Cyberbullying—what is it
6. Think Time: How Does Cyberbullying Affect You--a hard-hitting short video that hits all the important points of cyberbullying
7. What is Cyberbullying? from Commonsense Media

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I found this article wrenching to write. The crime is so ugly, destructive, and affects our most innocent. But it must be addressed. These resources give you a starting point. Don’t wait to discuss cyberbullying until it’s too late.

–image credit Deposit Photo

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Jacqui Murray has been teaching K-18 technology for 30 years. She is the editor/author of over a hundred tech ed resources including a K-12 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum. She is an adjunct professor in tech ed, Master Teacher, freelance journalist on tech ed topics, and author of the tech thrillers, To Hunt a Sub and Twenty-four Days. You can find her resources at Structured Learning.